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The end of the year is almost upon us; a time when people start thinking about New Year’s resolutions. A quick, completely non-scientific Facebook poll I conducted revealed about half of respondents has achieved a resolution and about half don’t bother with them.
I’ve made resolutions, usually weight-related, though once or twice, in an attempt at avoidance, I tried to learn a language or paint watercolors. While my auto-pilot brain conjugated foreign verbs, the rest of it just kept thinking about fat. Unlike some poll participants, I never completed a New Year’s goal, neither one related to fat loss nor language proficiency nor anything else. I wondered why.
What was meant to honor the arrival of another year had become my favored mode of procrastination. I’d crown a goal as “The Resolution” and shelve it until Jan. 1.
Obviously, I wasn’t serious about the goal, or I would have started that day. Since I wasn’t serious, I didn’t attack it with any zeal — and I’d quit.
Jan. 1 became my death sentence, and I demanded my “last” meal — over and over again. My resolution gave me permission to go hog wild until the big day rolled around.
When the New Year arrived, I’d be five pounds heavier from my freely wielded fork, and my excuses would start: The gyms weren’t open. I had slept wrong on my left arm. Whatever.
I’d make goal-related gestures. The produce drawers in my refrigerator testified to my intent. The carrots would last a while. The more delicate vegetables fuzzed up and turned scary colors.
I’d wander half-heartedly into a gym. A miniature Lou Ferrigno would rattle off discounts if I signed up right then. I’d sign a contract (my way of forcing my future self to stick to it) and rarely return after the third week. The monthly payment would remind me I was a failure. I’d go eat something to feel better. The cycle would repeat the next year, no goal accomplished.
At some point, I decided to skip the resolutions, join that 50 percent in my poll. They knew something it took me a few years to figure out: If I was truly ready to do something about my situation, then I should start — NOW. If I wasn’t really ready, I wouldn’t follow through, no matter what day of the year it was.
Save yourself some anguish and self-flagellation. If you have a truly serious goal, start this minute. If it’s not serious (and you know the difference), then skip it.
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